Toddler: Social Skills
Understanding Toddlers' Not-So-Perfect Social Skills.
Toddlers are fascinated by people their own age and size. Playing with other children
on a regular basis lets toddlers develop affectionate relationships that can last
for years.
Of course, toddlers are just beginning to learn social skills. One 18-month-old
can't really understand another's point of view, and it will be several years before
they'll be really good at sharing toys, resolving arguments and respecting the needs
and rights of others. So, when toddlers get together you can expect some typical
toddler social behaviour to emerge.
- Staring Toddlers Toddlers often just stand and watch other children play. It’s
best not to pressure them to get busy. Watching is their way of learning about each
other.
- Parallel Play Young toddlers often play side-by-side each other doing the same
activity. Although they seem self-involved, they are probably very much aware of
one another. Often they are copying each other and probably they have a sense of
companionship that will be the basis for more cooperative play later on.
- Empathy When one toddler is hurt, another may cry in sympathy. A friend recalls
a whole group of playmates all crying at once over a single skinned knee, and a
father told us that his daughter's first sentence was "Joey cry," uttered when a
toddler playmate woke from his nap.
- Poking, Pushing and Hitting For all their friendly feelings, toddlers do not
always understand that their actions can be hurtful. They tend to treat other toddlers
like objects. When they poke or hit a playmate, they need an adult to promptly and
calmly call a halt to the aggressive behaviour, and then quickly move the children
into friendlier play.
- Grabbing Toys Toddlers have no capacity for true sharing. When they see a toy
on a shelf, toddlers go up and take it. When they see a toy in the hands of another
child, they often do the same thing. They are not being selfish or greedy at this
age. They are simply being toddlers. Toddlers should be taught not to grab a toy
if another child is playing with it. You can take the toy from the offender and
return it to the first toddler, saying, "When Sarah is finished with the truck,
you can have a turn." Then, when the first child finishes with the toy, make sure
the second child has a chance to play with it. When toddler guests visit, you might
consider handing out duplicates of toys, since sharing is so difficult at this age.
Above all, be patient with toddler friends and notice the affection as well as the
conflict in their play. If you watch for the positive incidents, the negative ones
will seem less important. It takes years to learn social skills, but you can give
your toddler a good start now.
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